if any thing can express my emotion now, it muz be a series of music which potrays the struggle that all man will go through... a fast paced and hard strunged music... the massive blown emotions sent me through a rollar coaster ride, so many high and lows, unable to control myself like a small little dove learning to fly...
for so many times, ive found myself caught in situations that i cant handle, so many times, i have to get ppl to get me out of it... times and times again, i tried so hard to find the balance in my life again... i reckon some of us feels that the older you grow, the more complicated you become... i want to have a simple life, to just throw away everything and start over again, but its impossible, whatever that you have been through will just haunt you, the memories will never leave you, the mistakes you've done, the ppl you just cant seem to forget... all you can do is to live on with the life you have been given...
a wise man always start of as young and ignorant... as you grow, you learn life lessons, you dun listen to what your elders say, you face the consequences... no matter which aspect of life you are referring to, there's still alot of things that as a young life on Earth, we have to learn... the only difference is whether you have someone there to guild you through it... life can be so unfair to the stage that you have to start from zero while the peers around you have all they needed to start with...
maybe life is just 'simply complicated' ... as cliche as it seems, you have to learn to complicate yourself in order to learn how to live on with life, with so many choices, so many decisions that can lead to happiness or sorrows... so many promises you have to break even though you know you dont want to... selfish beings we all are, to agonise people so that you have the advantage above people... cheaters, liars, heartbreakers, who are you to judge them? no one can... 'life is cruel, just take it' is what i normally hear from ppl who tried to console me at times of difficulty...
at many times, i tried to be selfless and sacrifice as much i can to make others happy, but in the end, i found myself being hurted once and once again by ppl who abused it...
when is it my turn to stand up and say i want to be selfish and fight for what i wanted? is it wrong to be selfish? to take away what that is rightfully mine? they were right when they say you cant please everyone in this world, but being faced with your dearest friend and the one you liked, which one will you choose? either way, you will have to hurt one or another...
whenever i thought my life is becoming clearer and more simple, something will cloud up my mind, turning it to a mess again.. i hate that... should i say my life is becoming more interesting (more likely a drama series, i believe my life story is too happening) or should i say its getting more complicated?
after ranting so much, readers, are you confused yet?? yea, thats how confused i am, nth seems to make sense anymore... hahax, just food for thoughts... ok fine, im nt a very good blogger, but at least ppl who cared noes whats happening to me... and this blog is getting alittle too emo for human being to take... dun wori, my life's getting better, or lets say its up to me now to determine if i wan my life to be better... do i have the energy,courage, faith to face another emotion rollarcoaster? i dunno... i wished i could live my life over again...
i hope he wasnt kidding me, i hope its the way life should be, carefree and simple... i hope after this, its a new begining for me...
haven been updating the spider-webs-filled blog... =)
cny has been great, even though most of my loved ones were abroad... reali did hope they enjoyed the getaway frm the hussle and bussle life they lead... for me, its time to rest, yea, i slpt alot... talking abt ways to start the new lunar year huh?? chuckle...
in life, there are alot of choices we have to make in order to move on with your life... some are selfish choices, some are selfless ones... and quoting frm a certain person, we are told to follow our gut feelings, the one that will bring you through your choices without regrets... and i guess i would... cuz sometimes its just too hard to decide when ur torn between 2...
till i find you, it will be my destiny of love, wondering if i could see you again... ^^
fairytales can only be found in books... an imaginary world you've created to make believe...
short snip-it of joanne's life recentlylife has been alrite, except for falling sick last week since thurs, im down with the flu bug, still struggling to work till i finally got put down by the scary bugs ytd... going to have a 3 day mc... have to rest enuff to fight for the rest of the year, cnt afford to be sick anymore...something is bothering me, hoping myself that i will not suffer the same fate as my dear laopo... ive seen how she suffered, still holding on but soo much inner struggle she had faced, she has been strong, very very strong, and yet i still do not noe if it has happened to me, what will i do, will i break down n cry? or will i just give it up? i wonder how did she go through all this... i miss her, i reali do miss her alot... everything seemed to changed, haven gone back to clinic yet, but i do hope they miss me and if they are alrite, with clinic so bz, ppl fall sick easily... they muz be hating me by now, taking a 3 day mc... im running away from reality as far as possible, im lost deep in the woods, im stuck... dunno how to move on... when things are clearer, a mist flew and blurred out my vision, i cant find my way out again... why is life such a blur? cuz i dun have my sheepherd to lead me through? or is the person who is involved?
when you are running through my mind, do i realise i reali love u so much...
